The SMITH’s – By Edwin Greenslade Murphy eg ‘Dryblower Murphy”
We had many problems set us when Coolgardie was a camp
When a journey to the Goldfields was meant a coach fare or a tramp
We has water troubles, tucker ditto, also that of gold,
how to clothe ourselves in summer, how to dress to dodge the cold.
We marvelled how the reefs occurred in most unlikely spots,
for topsy turvy strata tied the geologists in knots;
But though we plumbed the depth of many a mysteries and myths,
The worst we had to fathom was the prevalence of Smiths.
To say they swarmed Coolgardie was to say the very least,
for they over ran the district like rabbits in the East;
The name predominated in the underlay and drive,
The open cut and costean seemed to be with Smith alive;
Where the dishes tossed the gravel they gathered from afar,
They clustered at the two up school and at the shanty bar;
And while jones and brown were just as thick as herrings in a frith
If you threw a stone at random, you were sure to hit a Smith.
There were Smiths from every region where the Smiths were known to grow,
There were cornstalk Smiths, Victorian Smiths and Smiths who eat the crow;
There were Maori Smiths, Tasmanian Smiths, and patched up Smiths from Cairns
Bachelor Smiths and widower Smiths and Smiths with wives and bairns.
Some assumed the names as to reasons that to them were known the best, when silently they packed their ports and flitted to the west. Till every second man you met
to yarn or argue with would turn out to be a legitimate or a bogus Smith
Edwin Greenslade Murphy eg Dryblower Murphy
It really mattered little till the day the big mail came
and then began the trouble with the far too frequent name
For Smiths rolled up in regiments when the letter ‘S’ was called
To drive the post officials mad and prematurely bald.
Shoals of Smiths demanded letters that were never to them sent
wrong Smiths got correspondence that were never to them meant
The climax came one Christmas Eve, the mail was on its way,
and the post officials yearned to block the Smiths on Christmas Day;
So they faked an Eastern telegram by methods justified,
Upon it put no Christian name and tacked it up outside.
It was from a Melbourne lawyer and was addresses to ‘Smith Esquire’
It was stamped ‘Pre Paid and Urgent’ to confidence inspire
and when Coolgardie sighted it and marked its pungent pith
There was a pallid consternation in the habitats of Smith
“Our client has informed us you are over in the West”
Ran the message “and she threatens your immediate arrest”
She says you are known as Smith but you needn’t be afraid
if you come and face the music and redeem your promise made”
The population read it and before the daylight came
A swarm of Smiths rolled up their swags and took a different name.
They declined to ‘Face the music’ and return to kin and kith
And maidens who were promised still await the absent Smith.
Moya Sharp
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