Ode to the Nurses by Smiler Hales

The wretched typhoid microbe
Is feasting in my chest;
I’m doomed beyond redemption,
By the cursed goldfields pest.

It’s ‘elp me, nurse, ‘nd soothe me, nurse,
Put ice upon me ‘ead;
Take a message to me mother, nurse,
As soon as I am dead.

I’ve broke me leg, I’ve sprained me back,
I am not worth a curse,
Oh, where’s me guardian hangel now,
Me sweet-faced gentle nurse.

If I only owned the Boulder,
I’d heap gold into her hand,
She’s the sweetest ‘nd the neatest
Little lady in the land.

I’ve got an achin’ in me ear, an ulcer on me spine,
‘Nd day by day I know I’m growing worse;
Oh, bring me guardian hangel quick,
Soft-handed sweet-voiced nurse.

The scene is changed, I’m better now,
The fever fiend has fled,
The bones are sound, the abscess well,
There’s naught on earth I dread.

It’s hang the nurse, ‘nd dam the nurse,
Put ashes on her ‘ead,
I wouldn’t shed a bloomin’ tear
To hear that she was dead.

I’ve got a barmaid, a widder on me knee,
N’d things might well be worse,
So bring me in a whisky straight,
‘Nd devil take the nurse.

Coolgardie Nurses – SLWA